Experienced Pirate Captain and Parrots for hire for birthday (children or adult), bar/bat mitzvah, other parties, education demonstrations, business publicity, acting, or events. All proceeds go to support Melbourne Avian Rescue Sanctuary. Pirate has all the tools of the trade. Working flintlock demonstrations, if appropriate. Photos on request.
Sunday April 22nd, 2018 - 12:27 pm
Kosh be saying, "Okay, Red. This be yer first trip to the beach. This sign be giving ye some of the rules for the beach. This be very important information for the humans that be coming here, but none of it be applying to us. Ye be seeing some signs that animals not be allowed on the beach, but ye also be seeing some signs saying not to be disturbing the wild life. If ye be asked by a police officer, ye be quoting John Merrick and saying 'I am not an animal!' Ye be wildlife."
Sunday April 22nd, 2018 - 5:00 am
Kosh be discouraged. "I have to be talking kids to tourist while their kids be else where. I be trying the Long John Silvers treasure map hustle on those tourists. The adults be buying it, till the kid be telling them that Long John be a fictional character. So I switched to a Blackbeard scam and the kid be catching me on that when I said his first mate be Billy Bones and the kid be knowing that it be Black Cesar. The adults then be telling me to leave when I be telling the kid to take off for the first star to the right and go straight on till morning."
Saturday April 21st, 2018 - 5:32 am
Kosh be selling his new exercise program. "This bicycle exercise routine be really boring and it burns very few calories. Let me talk to ye about the new Pirate Pilates Program. This amazing program will be whipping ye into shape in no time, because it be what we use to get new recruits ready. Ye'll learn such things as the anchor pull, the cannon lift, and a killer self defense routine. Of course, I be saving the best for last. Ye get to drink all the rum ye want, which be meaning that ye'll be sleeping sounder. Many people be thinking this be a bad idea, because of hangovers, but we be finding a way to beat that by never sobering up..."
Friday April 20th, 2018 - 5:37 am
Kosh be shocked. "The vendor be telling me that ye be alpacas. Do ye Dolly Alpacas know the Dolly Lama? I'd like to be getting his autograph."
Thursday April 19th, 2018 - 5:08 am
Kosh be wanting to make a public service announcement. "My fellow brethren have be discussing the problems of international law and piracy of late. Even in the modern era, it can be difficult to determine if the target ye are pursuing falls within the scope of your Letter of Mart, if you be a privateer. Of course, if ye simply be a pirate with no privateering agreement, ye still have the problem of determining if the ship ye be pursuing be in international waters or ye be close enough to shore for some countries law to apply. This problem has plagued us since the days of Captain William Kidd, who be hanged or taking a ship with a flag that be okay, but owned by someone who had political clout. The solution to this problem is simple, but often over looked. We be pirates, folks! DON'T GET CAUGHT AND IT DOESN'T MATTER!"
Wednesday April 18th, 2018 - 4:26 am
Kosh be thinking, "Red Legs be saying that I can get me learners permit, now that I be 17. The problem be that I be flunking the writing test. It not be straightforward, like a ship. On a ship, ye throw out the anchor, if ye want to stop. There be no such things as brakes. The directions on a car be a problem too. I can't be keeping straight in me head if, left be port or starboard. The final problem be they have these strange rules about something they be calling 'right of way'. As a pirate the rule be that the ship with the most guns get to go first. In fact, it can be going anywhere it wants."
What happened to the other parrot Charley?
I be saying get ye Captians License but Red Legs be having ye walk the plank or worse but ye on duty in the poop deck.
I just saw this about Charley. I am so sorry.
Kosh, ye need to be getting Red Legs to write a book to show the world all of yer wit & witticisms. Ye could make lots of money so ye wouldn’t have to be workin so hard.
Tuesday April 17th, 2018 - 4:46 am
Kosh be saying, "Today, Brethren, we be teaching the fine art of identifying potential marks or tourists, as they be called, at the beach. It be a bit more difficult on the beach, since they don't be wearing mouse ears or displaying the latest tee shirts from Universal. The folks out there on the beach today, definitely be tourists. We can tell this, because it be 72 degrees and there be a fair wind blowing. Local folks consider this unreasonably cold and would be no where near the ocean. (The exception being if there were good waves, ye'd see surfboards and they'd be wearing wet suits.) These folks obviously be from up north. Since the crowd be sparse and there be no police around, ye be free to make yer move. The parents often be tired by this point in their vacation, so I be offering pirate ship daycare for the kiddies. The powder monkeys actually be thinking swabbing decks be fun, so in addition to picking up a little spare cash, ye can give yer crew a break."
Monday April 16th, 2018 - 4:46 am
Kosh be saying, "Sorry, officer. When I be trying to get the bag of nuts that Red Legs be leaving for me, it fell and hit the unicorn. He be getting spooked and running horn first into the dragon. The dragon spit the fire, which be burning up those merchants stall. Fortunately, the rain be putting the flames out and the festival be over for this year, anyway. All that I be asking is to be allowed back next year. There be a lot of good looking ladies who be needing me attention."
We be having a good time this year and enjoying all the cast and visitors. We hope to be seeing everyone next year!
Oh Kosh, you’re so funny! I look forward to your posts. 😊
Huzzah Kosh and man in BLUE❤
Sunday April 15th, 2018 - 5:25 am
Kosh be saying, "Okay. ye lubbers! Now listen up! Today be the last day of the Central Florida Renaissance Festival and we be having a disappointing amount of booty that we be raising for the Melbourne Avian Rescue Sanctuary. I want to be seeing all ye recalcitrant scallywags today. Remember that this be a Renaissance FESTIVAL not just a Renaissance FAIRE. That means that it be so good that they can be charging $4 for soda and not the usual $3. I want to be seeing ye come out today. If ye be claiming that ye be wounded from yer last sea battle, that won't be working. This place be built so wheelchairs can get around. In fact the mermaids, be using them to get from their tanks to the swimming pool. So no excuses, I expect to see ye today!"
I'm sorry Kosh dear the Silver Syren has to work. She and Sut have missed you all!
Saturday April 14th, 2018 - 11:31 am
Kosh be riding the unicorn. Join us today!
Saturday April 14th, 2018 - 4:45 am
Kosh be quoting Jim Carey, "You mean there be a chance?!?!!" Kosh and me be looking forward to seeing ye today at the Central Florida Renaissance Festival! There be evil villains, weird creatures, magical beings, brave knights, tale tales, puppets, royalty, and handsome pirates.
Friday April 13th, 2018 - 11:19 am
Kosh be waiting for you at the Central Florida Renaissance Festival.
Friday April 13th, 2018 - 4:28 am
Kosh be saying, "We be at the Central Florida Renaissance Festival today. Check us out in the Pirate Land area. If ye be having trouble finding us, just be looking for a line of lovely ladies waiting to meet me. If I can be keeping Red Legs from hitting the rum too hard, we will be posting updates through out the day."
Thursday April 12th, 2018 - 5:00 am
Kosh always be looking for mermaids. Here be three that he be seeing at the Central Florida Renaissance Festival. We hope to be seeing ye there Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.
Wednesday April 11th, 2018 - 4:31 am
Here be more pictures of Kosh visiting with or flirting with the cast of the Central Florida Renaissance Festival. Be sure to be joining us Friday, Saturday, and Sunday as we be bringing things to a close!
Tuesday April 10th, 2018 - 5:00 am
Kosh be running into photographer Yvonne Oak at the Central Florida Renaissance Festival. He be saying, "I'd like ye to be taking more photos of me. No one else can really capture me magnificence."
Monday April 9th, 2018 - 5:04 am
Another picture from the Faire. Kosh be saying, "Oooh, ye be me type of woman --- bold, brave, strong, and breathing. Any chance we can get together later?"
Sunday April 8th, 2018 - 6:06 am
Interesting characters at the Central Florida Renaissance Faire. Ye should join us today to be checking them out. Kosh be saying, "I never be meeting a bear with a selfie stick before. Do ye know Red Ridding Hood?"
Saturday April 7th, 2018 - 9:17 am
Join Kosh and me at the Wayward Parrot Tavern at the Central Florida Renaissance Faire in Sorrento. We be here the next two weekends!
I be dreaming up the name. Art by Captain Daniel Christian Red !
Dang captain Red legs that thar don't be lookin half bad from the pic! Huzzah
Huzzah, it be a perfect fit. Kosh be looking very pleased!
Almost looks like wood! Har, har!
Thank you Kosh. 😘😘😘
I love what you do for Florida Parrot Rescue M.A.R.S.!!! <3
Saturday April 7th, 2018 - 3:16 am
Kosh be saying, "This be a boardwalk suspended over a patch of wild Florida coast land, so it looks like the land did when the Spanish explores first came here. This spot here be giving ye a view all the way to the ocean. There be not a lot of whales in the ocean any more, but they sometimes be swimming offshore here and if one does be coming by, this be a good spot to see it. I be asking Red Legs about what happened to the whales and he be telling me that they used to be hunted for their oil and meat. He be saying that he thinks this was a real mistake. Way back in the golden age of pirates, he said that he tried a whale steak. In his opinion, it was okay, but not worth killing a whale for."
